Parenting Coordinator

“Family Law Act 37   (1) In making an agreement or order under this Part respecting guardianship, parenting arrangements or contact with a child, the parties and the court must consider the best interests of the child only.“

… it’s about your children. Only you as their parents can safeguard their future.

There are many different reasons how come parents get into high conflict interactions following a divorce. The parenting coordinator process is primarily a dispute resolution process, but also supports effective co-parenting.

Ultimately, its focus is on helping you as parents understand the needs of your children with the objective being, as the Family Law Act has emphasized, to do what is in the best interest of your children.

As your Parenting Coordinator, my efforts would be focused on helping each of you to be more thoughtful, less reactive, and arrive at reasonable solutions when impasses arise.

It can be challenging as co-parents to defer to one another in the give and take of co-parenting. As your Parenting Coordinator, I’m a neutral third party, and would help facilitate conversations toward arriving at agreement that’s in the best interests of your children. Also, I would want to help you build good will with each other and good skills for the future. Ultimately, so that you don’t need a Parenting Coordinator.

Kids pick up on the tension between their parents and are keenly aware of what’s going on. They will carry that tension and will learn to anticipate conflict even when, on a given day, it may not happen. It can impair their functioning as they manage day to day with anxious brains, and it can impact their emotional functioning over time. It will shape their adult relationships. 

So, for me as your Parenting Coordinator, being fair, but firm is important. I will respectfully call on you as parents to be thoughtful and to work toward being less reactive to your co-parent with the objective being to minimizing the impact on your children and to do what is in their best interest.

Most parents come to the parenting coordination process with well-developed parenting plans or Final Orders which outline the parameters around which parents co-parent. However, no Final Order or parenting plan can cover every and all issues. There are times when the language is not as clear as it could be or there can be grey areas that need to be sorted out.

Along with helping you as co-parents with communicating effectively and understanding the developmental needs of your children, I’m working with you both toward building consensus when there are disagreements. As your Parenting Coordinator I would also have the authority to make binding decisions.

While building consensus is preferred and helps to build goodwill between co-parents, there are times when for various reasons one or both parents are less willing to find middle ground. And it can be challenging to be reasonable.

What is unique about the parenting coordination process, different than mediation or co-parent counselling, is that I can make a binding decision. I would hear proposals from each of you and then you will get to respond to what your co-parent has proposed. I would then also gather other pertinent information concerning the issue. I take all that into account and then make a make a decision, called a “determination.” This decision is akin to a court order and is binding.

While at times it can be unsettling for one or other parent to not have a determination rule in their favor, there is often a feeling that at least the situation has been resolved one way or the other and both parents can move on.

The beauty of the parenting coordinator process is that issues can be dealt with in a timely fashion, and it’s more personal since I get to know each of you as parents and your children.

In the process you will sign a Parenting Coordination Agreement which would have me involved for a Term of up to two years at which point it can be renewed.

Again, what is unique about this process, as opposed to co-parent counselling or mediation, is that once the Parenting Coordinator Agreement is signed neither party can unilaterally terminate it. In other words, unlike these former processes, a parent cannot simply walk away if they’re unhappy. And, furthermore, as your Parenting Coordinator the signed agreement allows me to continue working in the best interest of your children even if one parent has stopped participating.